John Cleese: ‘Syria and Alert to threats in Europe’


21st Century Wire says… When this story was originally published there was speculation as to who the real author was, with most people saying that it was he of Monty Python fame. Based on the skilled prose, we’d have to agree with the mob on this one. A masterpiece nonetheless…

By John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level Συνέχεια

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Air in eight Italian cities is dosed with cocaine and cannabis


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If you’re in Italy and after some cocaine, Turin is probably the place to go, while cannabis fans would be better off visiting the student cities of Bologna and Florence. At least that’s what a study of psychotropic substances present in the air of eight Italian cities suggests.

The findings, published in the journal Environmental Pollution, follow up on prior work revealing trace elements of the substances in Taranto and Rome. At the time the author of both papers, chemist Angelo Cecinato of Rome’s Institute of Atmospheric Pollution Research, had said, «We considered it a curiosity». This time around however, atmospheric levels were monitored over the course of a year in Palermo, Turin, Rome, Bologna, Florence, Milan, Naples and Verona, with cocaine, cannabinoids, Συνέχεια